I got it from my Mama
The things we inherit from our mama go beyond the physical. I for one have my mom’s big eyes, busy spirit, full heart and the same eyebrows. Right down to the same spot we over tweezed on the right side. Mother’s Day is full of joy, nostalgia and remiscining. As a mother myself, l have more space to appreciate my own and how she continues to care for me. My biggest fan, number one support. Most of you may know this, but she’s watched my daughter from day ONE (even when she was still working full time and caring for her own parents). I could go on and on in how she’s been a part of why Scout is thriving (and how I’m even remotely the human you’ve come to love). It’s an understatement to how far and wide her love goes for me and it’s pretty inspiring. So I wanted you to meet her. This is Pam.
To be honest I don’t really have any memory of a specific dream of motherhood. I had always wanted to be a mom even when I was a tiny girl that was my hope. My expectation of motherhood came from what I had experienced from my own mom. That motherhood would be filled with sweet cookies warm from the oven, sticky kisses and bedtime stories. All of these are pictures to me of love in action. Motherhood to me meant always being available to help and to listen. To encourage and to draw out the best in the ones you love. To give and to create opportunity for growth and learning and creativity to take place. My mom is the kindest person. Always sees the best in others. Never holds a grudge against anyone and is always available to help. She’s incredibly generous with her time and her words. Always an encourager. Always bringing a gift of food or her latest creative project. A godly woman who loved Jesus and gave the best of herself to her family and friends. A gem. That’s what I anticipated motherhood to be. Love in action.
I knew Dayna would accomplish whatever she set her mind to. She was very strong willed as a child. Took all my energy and creative strategizing to shift her strong willed determination into a positive strength. Dayna was fiesty. She knew what she liked and what she didn’t like from the get go. Determined and goal oriented. But so kind hearted and made friends everywhere she went. Always inclusive. I felt she would be an amazing artist and woman of justice on behalf of those who had been downtrodden. What job would she hold? Whatever brought her joy and allowed her creative license to colour outside the lines and all over the walls. I felt she would pursue art in sone way. Strongly encouraged her to be who she was created to be. To stand strong and to walk in kindness.
Her artistic inclinations started in the kitchen when she was old enough to hold a crayon. Very young. Under two years old. She was sitting in her high chair with a piece of paper and a crayon. I asked her dad to watch her as I needed to go do something. I came back a few minutes later to find Dayna standing up in her high chair. Crayon in hand, colouring a large square of wall behind her while her dad was “watching” her. He zoned out completely to her advantage. Unless closely supervised she would often be found colouring the walls with crayon or “decorating” coffee tables etc with artistic drawings. When Dayna was around 4 years old she use to “tattoo” herself and her brother with body art using washable felt pens. They had fun with that! Then off to the tub!
Mothering adult children looks like the friendship between a coach and their most valuable players. A delicate dance of encouragement with a lot of intentional questions to shed the light of mother-experience while giving respect for personal choice and decision making. And not telling them what to do but letting them see potential outcomes of choices. It’s a lot of prayer to Jesus and trusting that the training of faith, character and building of relationship will stand the test of life storms. Things I learned from my mother-in-law. She was was filled with incredible wisdom. Understood pain and had compassion and acceptance for others. She loved Jesus completely and also loved fashion and beauty. She loved to get her nails and hair done. Always took time to share a coffee and truly enjoyed being with you. Was completely present. My mother-in-law was always my greatest encourager. She loved to tell me what a good mom I was. That meant a lot to me, more than she would ever know. Especially coming from her because she was no push over. She didn’t put up with nonsense, she called it for what it was. Didn’t allow anyone to take on a “poor me” attitude. You want to change your environment ? Then start by changing your attitude.... Love does. Love does diapers and vomit without a second thought. Love car pools and chauffeurs. Love expects to be inconvenienced and does what needs to be done because this little person is highly valued.
Motherhood has been exactly what I thought. Just better. Nothing I have done has been more fulfilling or rewarding or significant. I have done some pretty awesome things. I have held some pretty important positions but nothing has been more significant than actively and intentionally loving and investing in my family, my hubby, my children and my grandchild. Your kids won’t remember if the dust bunnies lived with them in your house but they will remember how their mom made them feel as a kid. The mom really is the heart of the home. Be kind with your words. Don’t shame your kids. Love is patient. Hurry kills love. Take your time and enjoy each moment. Cover your family with love. Once in a while get out the duster but only after the stories have been told, the cookies have been eaten and the sticky kiss has been rubbed in.
- Love, Scout’s Mama
If you still need to shop for your mama this Sunday, consider buying an easy breezy e-gift card that can be sent directly to her on a specific day. We’ll be ready to pamper her as soon as we are open again.